Superman villains

You know those villains on Superman comics and cartoons who invariably get their asses kicked in the end? Well, you know what? Those guys are fucking imbeciles. Goddamn morons to the umpteenth degree. Every fucking story starts off with some maniacal half-retarded nincompoop who thinks they can start shit in Metropolis and get away with it.

Does every villain in the DC universe (DC is the name of the comic book publisher that publishes Superman, for those of you who may have mistaken it for the capital of USA or the skateboard merchandise company) have a goddamn learning disability? I mean JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! You start shit anywhere NEAR metropolis and you’ll get your asses handed to you. End of fucking story.

Why am I writing this? Because I recently stumbled unto the old Superman cartoons that they used to show way back when. Way before I was born, but I used to watch because they kicked so much fucking ass (I’m saying “ass” a lot in this post. Maybe I have some sort of fixation on the human buttocks--but don’t tell anyone, lest they spread fallacy and hearsay regarding certain insecurities… >_>). Err… anyway…

I think if you start shit in or near Metropolis, you better give the FUCK up, because you have no goddamn chance in hell. If you even CONSIDER Superman’s track record, you’ll see that it’s obvious you can’t beat this guy. However, I must point out the fact that, as denizens of the REAL world (Or IS IT?) we are much more objective in our observations of Superman’s universe; therefore, we must take into account the fact that the villains of the DC universe are driven and compelled by certain forces beyond their control and under manipulation of the writers of the cartoon and/or comic. Still, you must realize the monumental stupidity of the villains in the DC universe.

I wonder if they’re too lazy to do their research or something. I mean, someone like Superman must surely be relatively high profile. How the FUCK do you miss something like his UNDEFEATABILITY? If you try to make Superman shit his pants with a couple of pansy-ass tin can pieces of shit robots, you need a goddamn remedial course in the art ass-kickery.

If you’re wondering why I’m writing about how much Superman kicks ass, it’s because I’m slightly drunk and have nothing else to write about.

One last thing: despite what anyone might say, Batman could school Superman any day. Just ask Frank Miller.