Pissing too much

Yes, this is way too much information for most of you, but I felt absolutely compelled to share this with you all.

I don’t know what it is that I ate or drank or smoked or snorted but today I’ve been pissing like a--for the lack of a better word--motherfucker. I’ve already been to the bathroom eight times since this morning, and ladies and gentlemen, these were no mere trickles of fluid like water from a melting icicle during the spring thaw. No, these were powerful streams of urinary might--streams that would kill small animals--streams of Olympian proportions--streams that would squelch the sun itself into a hissing, steaming submission.

I hope you have been thoroughly disgusted by this entry.