This is the synopsis on the back of the cover for a bootleg version of Gladiator. I've copied it word for word, though I've added the bolding (is that the right word?) for emphasis in certain parts.
A big-budget summer epic with money to burn and a scale worthy of its golden Hollywood predecessors, Ridley Scott’s Gladiator is a rousing, grisly, action-packed epic that takes moviemaking back to the Roman Empire via computer generated visual effects. While not as fluid as the computer work done for, say, Titanic, it’s an impressive achievement that will leave you marveling at the glory that was Rome, when you’re not marveling at the glory that is Russell Crowe. Starring as the heroic general Maximus, Crowe firmly cements his star status both in terms of screen presence and acting vhops, carrying the film on his decidedly non-computer generated shoulders as he goes from brave general to wounded fugitive to stoic slave to gladiator hero.
First of all, since when was Titanic the standard by which we measure all CGI effects? I love how the writer just has that pause where he speaks completely casually as he mentions Titanic, and adding "say" as if playfully musing the weight of the worth in the movie's CGI work with a friend over a beer, feigning familiarity in that field. I hate to admit it, but I saw that movie around the time it came out, and even at that young, tender, innocent age, I thought to myself, "This looks fucked."
Secondly, what is with the writer's strange fixation on Russell Crowe's shoulders? Jesus Christ. That's just disturbing. And what the hell does it mean when it says "money to burn"? What the hell kind of movie has money to burn?
